Happy Holidays
Gifts For The Elected

      The holiday season is upon us,
Bringing each of us much joy,
And of course the task of shopping,
For every girl and boy.  

Our list was rather long,
Many presents we did seek,
For the roster of elected officials,
We shopped with tongue in cheek.  

The poetry’s  not perfect,
Mixing humor and goodwill,
Some quickly written quatrains,
Spreading fun, but may not thrill.  

Mayor Mike in City Hall – greetings,
And thanx for all he’s shown,
But after one year holding office,
Perhaps he needs a loan.  

Comptroller Bill,  a solvent city,
So for Mayor he can run,
Betsy G. our Public Advocate,
Some respect from number one.  

In the Council for Speaker Miller,
End term limits with much sorrow,
For Comrie, Katz & Weprin,
Limit the Speaker’s term, tomorrow.  

Weprin would also get a camera,
And Katz, a career on the stage,
Comrie we’d give a super fundraiser,
Eric Gioia, perhaps some age.  

Liu would remain the only Asian,
Gallagher, become Republican chair,
Jennings, some common sense,
Gennaro, a primary, we’d spare.  

For Vallone, perhaps a companion,
Also make him the next DA,
Members Sanders and Addabbo,
A real train to Rockaway.  

Helen Sears seems to have it all,
Some peace for Tony Avella,
And for Hiram Monserrate,
We’d make him a Manton fellow.  

State Senators Smiths’ new leader,
The power to help them move,
Sabini, an underground Albany,
Padavan, should continue to groove.  

Onorato and Toby Stavisky,
May their party find new direction,
But while the GOP’s in power,
Not Bruno; Maltese is our selection.  

Gianaris would follow Spitzer,
Speaker Weprin, we like the ring,
Lafayette would go on forever,
McLaughlin, we’d name king.  

Aubry, the best of health,
Mayerson, learn to spell her name,
Pheffer would have a luscious glen,
Cathy Nolan we’d grant fame.  

To Grodenchik, Titus and Peralta,
Albany is so very new,
We hope they find pleasure there,
And stay out of trouble, too!  

To Cook, Scarborough, Seminerio,
Clark, Carrozza, Michael Cohen,
For all the State legislators
The freedom to vote on their own.  

Perhaps, a new silver lining,
Change government, at any rate,
They’d each vote their conscience,
For the people of our State.

Congressman Weiner, the future,
He’s on a roll, it’s no baloney,
And we’d give a map of Queens
To  Velazquez & Carolyn Maloney.  

Ackerman, a carnation garden,
Crowley, a speedboat to the Bronx,
Make Meeks, a mayoral hopeful,
Nita Lowey gets our thonx!  

No gift could be any better,
For the Queens Congressional team,
Than the one they got from Santa
New district lines — their dream.  

Borough Hall, it’s Helen Marshall,
Our borough president, so fair,
May she be judged on performance,
Her predecessor, not compare.  

In Albany, to George Pataki,
A  balanced budget right on time,
Alan Hevesi, magic money,
Spitzer, next in line.  

There’s Georgie in the White House,
We wish him peace of mind,
May mercy rule the season,
To hatred, his eyes blind.  

There’s hero Colin Powell,
He once lived right over here,
May he struggle with the others,
The price of life, to hold dear.  

To all political wanabees,
To each  consultant and each  friend,
Remember the mission &  the purpose,
Helping people is our end.  

Our fathers and our mothers,
Our sons and daughters too,
Our readers, their families:
Christian, Muslim and Jew.  

May the holidays shine in Queens,
For every girl, and every boy,
For  Christmas, for Ramadan,
For Kwanzaa, for Hanukkah,
We wish you peace and  joy!

Guest Columnist: Henry Stern
Who Will Bell The Cat?

 The question we ask is: Does the Mayor have a game plan for Fiscal 2004, or is he simply taking the blows as they fall? 

I don’t think anyone knows the answer, but I suspect the truth lies somewhere in between.  He can’t have a complete plan because no one will know until late spring or summer just what the State Legislature or the Bush administration will do for New York City.

Now is the time for the United Federation of Teachers to call up some of the chits they earned for all those tables they bought at incumbents’ fundraisers for so many years. After all, teachers and paraprofessionals want to keep their jobs, just as legislators do. Other unions are invited to use their influence as well.

Another problem is that the City is not totally prepared to eliminate waste, because the administration is not certain where much of it actually is.  Doctors go to medical schools for four years and then study surgery for years afterward to learn how to operate.  Most of the current leadership – honest and competent people – have not explored the crannies of their agencies since they have not been involved in the details of City management. Percentage cuts for agencies have historically been taken out of programs and services, not staff and administration.  As I wrote in 1975, “the headquarters company is the last to be cut.”

If these people had been City veterans, they could have been considered part of the problem that now has to be remedied.  No complaints here, because as Hyman Roth (the Meyer Lansky character in “The Godfather. Part II,” played by Lee Strasberg) said so wisely:  “This is the business we have chosen.”

We are all rooting for Mayor Bloomberg to succeed, in part because he is the last clear chance for the City to survive financially.  It is fortunate that, as a self-financed candidate, he does not have the political obligations that weigh on other public officials because they are honorable men and women, and desire to return services for gifts received.  Nor is he a part-time official, with substantial income derived from a law practice whose prosperity may be influenced by his decisions.  He is as clean as they come.

For at least thirty years, some reformers and businessmen wanted a citizen-mayor, someone from the private sector who had not climbed the greasy (lubricated) pole of party and special interest politics.  For a long time, Richard Ravitch was looked to as the man who could do this, but when he finally ran in 1989, he was caught in a vise between Mayor Koch and soon-to-be Mayor Dinkins, and he received 4.7 percent of the vote.  That was however, as he has pointed out, two points better than the 16-year incumbent comptroller, who garnered 2.7 percent, but went on to a splendid career in the private sector.  

The last comptroller to run for mayor also came in fourth in a field of four, but he has since gone on to greater public service [as the recently-elected NYS Comptroller].

At any rate, we are all involved with the City budget, and we hope that Fiscal 2004 will go as smoothly as possible. But for a fiscal rescue to succeed, it must be accompanied by dislocation, review of labor contracts and work rules, opening of improvident long-term leases which the City has made, competitive bidding to provide certain services, and an end to redundancy (which people must be trained to find and remove). And we should not blow smoke over the tobacco settlement and anticipated funding from it, since one shots (which do not recur) are no remedy for a structurally imbalanced budget.  (Final note: budgets are imbalanced, people are unbalanced. The result is the same.)

— Henry Stern was NYC Parks Commissioner for fifteen years and a Councilmember for nine. He is founder and director of NYCivic, a good government group. He can be reached at: starquest.nycivic.org.

Schenkler on Stern & Aesop

My learned and quirky friend Henry Stern has recently become a regular contributor to this space. The piece printed above on the New York City budget crisis was titled by Henry, “Who Shall Bell The Cat,”

Immediately upon seeing it, I had images of my father sharing Aesop’s fable with me.

Dad, as regular readers of this column know, was an educator — a Queens elementary school principal. At home, he was also a teacher. And my love of words and stories, can  be traced back to the many hours of literature and language-sharing dad and I had together. There were short stories, poetry, and fables.

Aesop was a legendary Greek slave who lived in the sixth century B.C. His fables known for their political message and moral, have been preserved through the ages by many well-known storytellers.

Dad was my favorite.

Henry has borrowed his title from this wonderful Aesop tale:

“Belling The Cat”
by: Aesop

The Mice summoned a council to decide how they might best devise means of warning themselves of the approach of their great enemy, the Cat.  Among the many plans suggested, the one that found most favor was the proposal to tie a bell to the neck of the Cat, so that the Mice, being warned by the sound of the tinkling, might run away and hide themselves in their holes at his approach.  But when the Mice further debated who among them should thus “bell the Cat,” there was no one found to do it. 

Moral: It is easy to suggest impossible remedies.

Not4Publication.com by Dom Nunziato

————————————————————

Michael Schenkler can be reached at: MSchenkler@queenspress.com