Sapphire
Home: Forest Hills
Age: 25
Stats: 34B-26-35
Height: 5’5"
Weight: 115
UModel # 11180
Sapphire has had the itch all her life, but she only scratched
three months ago when she decided to become a model.
She’s what you call a "net model." She’s done
modeling for fashion, swimwear, and art photography and it’s all appeared on
websites. But she hopes she’ll materialize on the pages of some women’s magazine
like W.
Sapphire has been a Queensite her entire life. She grew up by Bowne
Park in Flushing and attended IS 25 and Francis Lewis High School. She pretty much kept to
herself and was unpopular. She only came out of her shell when she went to an upstate
SUNY.
Today she works as a promoter in the media industry and admits that the
‘corporate thing’ is not for her. Her goal in life is to open an animal shelter.
"I love animals," says Sapphire. She grew up around six cats.
In her Forest Hills apartment she has two from the North Shore Animal League.
It’s Queens’ access to the highways that she loves most about
the borough. She can hop onto the road and get around in no time.
When it comes to food, Queens’ best secret is Ubol’s Kitchen,
a Thai restaurant on Steinway St.
Sapphire keeps in shape by working out religiously five times a week.
"It kind of stayed with me," she says, explaining that one of her ex-boyfriends
was a gym freak who got her into the routine.
Yet Saphire admits, "I’m totally repelled by those guys that are big
meatheads that spend their life at the gym." She prefers someone she can be honest
with. Her boyfriends have always become her best friend.
Counterfeit
Baby?
Queens District Attorney Richard Brown has confiscated many
things in his long tenure as the borough’s top investigator.
DA Dick Brown and 5-month-old
Zoeya during his holiday tour of
St. Mary's Hospital.
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He has busted counterfeit clothing
factories, shut down phony ticket operations, and uncovered counterfeit CD outlets. And
with every bust, he snaps a photo of himself with the confiscated merchandise and sends it
to the newspapers. There are tons of photos of him holding up fake CDs and phony designer
t-shirts.
That’s why it was slightly shocking
when we received a photo of Brown holding a baby.
A million crazy thoughts raced through our
heads. Did Brown confiscate a phony baby? Has human cloning gotten out of hand? Are babies
being sold on the black market? How about on Ebay? Was this baby some sort of alienchild?
Did it rob a bank? Did it commit credit card fraud?
The boring truth is that the baby was just
a baby. Brown recently brought gifts to St. Mary’s Hospital for Children in Bayside
and someone snapped a photo of him holding one of the kids.
Happy holidays!
Bloomberg
Says 'Koch Ya'
Political holiday parties were as plentiful as ever this season as both
newly-elected officials and the venerable oldies made the rounds.
Our favorite story comes out of Jerry Skurnick and Stu
Osnow’s PrimeNY’s downtown holiday luau.
We are told that Ed "Hizzoner" Koch was holding court,
as can be expected. He was complaining that after endorsing Mike Bloomberg, the mega-mogul
asked him to record some direct phone messages for automated calling. Our willing former
movie reviewer complied.
Not long thereafter Koch was walking down the street when he was
stopped by a well-dresed stranger.
"You’re Ed Koch, aren’t you?" the stranger
inquired.
Always pleased with attention, Koch replied, "Yes, I am."
The stranger looked him in the eyes and shouted, "Don’t you
ever again call my house at dinner time."
How’s he doin?
He’s still doing fine.
That Bloomin’ Onion!
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Ready,
Aim...
The highly respected and comical Onion newspaper published a
front-page story on a Rego Park businessman who is having a tough time selling his Osama
Bin Laden urinal cakes. The entrepreneur, who sells pop-culture novelties, came up with
the idea of a urinal cake with the image of Bin Laden and a rifle target on his face. The
idea is to let pissed off Americans vent their anger. The hilarious article details the
businessman’s venture as he couldn’t sell enough of urinal cakes in September.
The cakes were popular in bars, where drunken patrons stole the used urinal cakes. Yet
sales came to a slump and the businessman is left with 40,000 Bin Laden cakes.
Unfortunately, the story didn’t check out when we looked up the names of people and
establishments in the article.
Double
Life?
Did newly installed Councilman Eric Gioia spend his December
nights looking up the skirts of the world-famous Rockettes?
That’s what went through the mind of one QConfer when
she looked at the program for the Radio City Music Hall Christmas Spectacular and saw
"Eric Gioia" listed as one of the orchestra’s first violinists. Could it be
that the Councilman was making some money on the side this holiday season? Could it be
that he spent the past month playing Christmas songs in an orchestra pit? Is he indeed
living a double life?
Not at all. An extremely confused Radio City Music Hall representative
explained, "Um, no. There are no politicians in the orchestra. There are musicians in
the orchestra. That’s the way it usually works."
It turns out that the Eric Gioia in the orchestra is actually just a
professional musician who spells his name the same way.
