Coming out of a Jazz show, I walked past a mosaic line of music lovers waiting for the next show. They came from all over the Tri-state area to listen to the second set of a beautiful musical act and I almost escaped the night without an incident, but for one set of jesters who overthrew the court.

Just moments before, a couple in front of me was laughing, kissing, and enjoying each other’s company. At one point in the set, they turned around
to give my companion and me
a high five. Now they were going home, walking about two steps ahead of me, and therefore were spared the wake of dirty looks and funky comments I had the misfortune of hearing.

The man was black. The woman was from Morocco. I remember this because it came up in the small conversations we had before the show. And now their stroll was attracting the venom of a variety of passersby who commented on her ethnicity and his choice for a date.

The women passing by — who probably would have had nothing to do with this guy had they seen him in any number of clubs — had their eyes of him now. The words they used to describe the couple as they walked past, I won’t repeat though I know you’ve heard them before. These sisters had no way of knowing that this woman — with her less than African features — was more African than they were. But where she was born or what she looked like shouldn’t have mattered to people who didn’t have a viable interest.

Finding someone you like in this town can be brutal enough. The "game" we know as dating sets its own rules and the big "board" we call New York is, sometimes, just not big enough.

It should not seem soa strange for us to see interracial couples in New York anymore. But some people still act as if they are seeing aliens land.

I have to admit, when I see a mixed-race couple, it catches my eye. But I am in wonder about the miracle leap that had to be made for that relationship to exist. If asked, I will say that I am what I like to call an "Equal Opportunity Dater." I know that love can transcend race, even though it is not an easy mountain to get over if the climbers don’t have the wind for it. And I’m not saying that everyone should go out and try it. What I am saying is that we should not attack those people who are brave enough.

Men or women – it doesn’t matter. One is no worse than the other.

Both sides have reasons not to trust the opposite sex of our own race. Women have run across some brothers who have been abusive, irresponsible, and trifling. Then there are brothers who’ve dealt with sisters who are money grubbing, self centered and fickle. That doesn’t apply to everyone, but if it happens to you that might be enough to change you perspective.

This guy from the Jazz couple was kind of plain looking and a little nerdy. He was probably not a top draft pick for some of you cuties out there, but here he was with this absolutely beautiful woman, who – I might add – was into him as well. And, in case you’re wondering: no, it wasn’t an immigration thing. She has her own business.

And this couple may not last for all the same reasons that challenge couples who look like they are of the same race. How many times do we hear about African/Caribbean-American unions that don’t work out because of the culture clash?

The end of my night was marked by Najee’s "Love Will Find A Way," which I blared out of my car speakers. It was one of those times that I waited for the tune to end before I shut off the ignition. I thought about the tough, emotional weekend that just passed and the others due to come.

Love is hard to find anywhere. Like the wind, you feel it, appreciate it and can fear it, if it’s strong enough. But you can’t touch it, see it or control it.

You don’t find it . . . it finds you.

But when it happens, most people don’t begrudge its arrival. In fact, we celebrate it and we cherish it. So why do we begrudge others who find this most elusive of gifts in a place where even they probably didn’t expect it?

No one can tell you what kind of car to buy, what kind of clothes to wear, or what kind of house you want. Yet these huge investments in your life pale in comparison to the commitment of one’s heart.

Now, I know the letters are already on their way to the PRESS right now. But make sure you speak for yourself and not from some pent-up pretense of outrage based on things that have nothing to do with your own life. Life is hard enough without any additional personal prejudices or pressures.

What is it that we always ask of others and society? Stay out of the way of our personal pursuits, right?

We should be willing to do the same.

— Gary Anthony Ramsay is a weekend anchor and
journalist on the all-news cable station NY1 and
a long-time resident of Queens.