On a night that seemed to be the beginning of our recent deluge of bad weather . . . when the streets were slick and the drivers imminently dumber . . . when I’d much rather have been in front of a TV, I walked into P.S. 30 in Rochdale Village.

I was there at the request of a woman who had asked me to stop by one of their community meetings for a long time before that date. When I shook off the rain from my coat and umbrella, then turned into the audit-orium, what I saw pretty much represented what I thought I would see for the most part. The group was made up of pre-dominantly older folks, most of whom owned homes, many retired.

Vivian McMillian originally wanted me to address the issue of police- community relations, having read my accounts in the PRESS about my contact with and feelings about the NYPD.

As the 113th Precinct Commander and Vivian McMillian looked on I began a speech about policing and understanding the situation we put cops in that I had not intended to give. PRESS Photo by Marcia Moxam Comrie

When I left my apartment I knew exactly what I was going to say, but as I got closer to the building my concept started the blur a little. By the time I got inside, I really didn’t have a solid focus or topic. I walked down the aisle to the front where I was asked to sit and I could see police in uniform to the left side of the auditorium. Vivian also told me that as part of their regular meeting, the Commander of the 113th precinct would also speak and tell the community about various statistics and update them on many of the their prior issues of concern.

There became a time when some of the 50 or so people in the audience raised their hands to complain about this and that. A common theme seemed to be so called "Quality of Life" complaints . . . the police should break up nighttime basketball games; the police should ticket people in their double parked cars as they pick up their kids from school, the police should keep an eye on the throngs of teenagers leaving I.S. 59.

The list wasn’t very extensive but everyone seemed to want to put his or her two cents in.

While most of these fine homeowners expressed legitimate concerns — concerns I might have if these things were going on in front of my house — I couldn’t help feeling like some of it bordered on "whining."

I also thought about the kind of pressure being put on the police, by older residents, to engage younger members of the community who already don’t like or trust them.

I thought about police coming to break up a night game at the request of a homeowner...young men or teenagers not reacting well to being run-off as it were, and then something "bad" happening because of it.

When either an officer or a civilian is hurt or worse, will anyone remember why the cops were there in the first place?

When the reporters descend on the neighborhood and start poking around, will anyone own up to the fact that the cops there to break up groups, ticket them, or move them along were doing so only because the people who lived there asked them to and not because of some secret police policy to harass folks?

I know that it is certainly easier for an armed cop to get the attention of an unruly teen or disrespectful wanna-be thug who may be trying to rip off a store owner, trampling someone’s lawn, or making all kinds of noise in the wee hours of the morning. But in my gut I feel there has to be some kind of balance between having our lives overrun with problems like that and overrun with police.

There was a golden opportunity to have better police community relations, but that was missed.

When crime was at its lowest, and repeat and multiple offenders were carted off upstate, the manpower used to arrest them should have been put into community programs. Cops should have been sent into the schools to meet the seven-, eight-, nine- and 10-year-old kids, to get to know them and vice versa. Those same kids are 14, 15, 16, 17 and 18 now, and the most likely to have a "bad" run-in with them and their older neighbors.

The same could be said of us.

Why is it we don’t know these kids who are roving our neighborhoods now, who give us no respect, and trash our property? Why don’t we know their names, so we can say "Hey Jamal, give me a break; I’m trying to sleep."

It is harder to be a pain to someone you know, whether it’s a cop or a neighbor.

This missed opportunity isn’t like missing an exit on the Van Wyck. It is more like the Jersey Turnpike, where you have to go a long way down before you can come back. But in the meantime, we should be mindful of balance and end results when we ask things from our police.

Watch what you pray for, since you just might get it.

— Gary Anthony Ramsay is a weekend anchor
and journalist on the all-news
cable station NY1 and along-time resident of Queens.