One of the reasons prosecutors will present for Robert Blake’s alleged motivation for killing his wife is the theory that he was upset that his wife, Bonnie Lee Bakley, had “allowed” herself to get pregnant. 

According to a tape they have released, the former star of the TV cop show “Barretta” was not at all pleased when hearing about the conception of his daughter, and not at all happy that she refused to have an abortion.

A few years ago a real police officer was told he would still have to pay child support for a child he discovered was not his but actually the result of an affair between his ex-wife and another lover.

The court said that it was in the child’s best interest that he be forced to maintain a role as father/provider even though it was not biologically his.

At the heart of these two very different stories about pregnancy, conception and the long-term ramifications is the word responsibility. 

In Blake’s case, according to what he said on one of the taped conversations, his wife told him “not to worry” and that “she was on the pill.”

In the case of the cop, the trouble in their marriage at the time of the child’s conception caused him to wait for years before seeking the truth about paternity.

Much is always made of men taking care of their responsibility and that is usually associated with money first, then all of the other parental duties, real or implied.

But a man’s responsibility to himself should also be in the due diligence of protecting his life well before he decides to copulate with a woman. 

He should understand that his sperm or DNA is as precious as the blood we always fight to keep inside of us. 

The act of passing on life to another human being that will share your genetic tree, is taken too lightly by some and too seriously by others.

Men, when you look at a woman and decide you want to “hook up”, you should ask yourself not only about disease and whether or not you think it will be “good” but about how you’d feel having a child with this person. 

We all know that accidents happen but when they do you are no longer in control of the situation and you are no longer in control over a part of your life.

It’s time that we talk to our sons about the bad things that can happen with casual sex with the same intensity we try to keep our daughters from coming home pregnant.

This may surprise you, but I tell my sons to always, always protect themselves. 

Use condoms and not the cheap ones. I tell them AIDS and HIV are not the only things that can ruin their lives. 

I believe having a child with a woman you aren’t meant to be with, dislike or later hate is worse that getting infected. 

Why? 

The disease may put you out of your misery in a shorter time than it will take for you to shake loose from the clutches of “baby mama.”

A man is not usually threatened with bodily harm to have sex with a woman. 

99.9 percent of the time they need no more motivation than the fact that they are breathing.

I know that God made sex one of the greatest experiences we can enjoy. 

That is why the species will survive. 

But in the shorter term of an individual life, a man who calls himself a man should know that with the pleasure comes the weight of responsibility. 

Not only to the woman but more importantly to yourself.

Do not believe or assume that your partner is looking out for you and your interests since women too can be blinded by the urge to merge. 

And if for some reason something does happen and there is a question of paternity, take care of matters sooner rather than later.

Make sure you haven’t been duped into “wearing someone else’s jacket”, like that poor cop who still has about 10 years in child support payments left for the child of another man.

My brothers, you too have a role in looking out for you. 

I’m sure even some professional athletes who make a lot of money and have a lot of kids wish they could go back and undo what they did. 

Shape your future by taking charge of the present. 

A philosophy that can be applied to most basic of human functions.

— Gary Anthony Ramsay is a weekend anchor
and journalist on the all-news
cable station NY1 and along-time resident of Queens.