An annual ritual that takes place every year is the transference of kids from mothers to fathers and or step-moms or step-dads for the summer.  

Step-moms may not be step moms but in fact girlfriends who are now in the lives of the dads who plan on spending a good part of their summer trying to make the most out of a period of time that usually starts out very awkwardly. 

For dads who bother to do it, it is like going from the first to fifth gear in parenting overnight.

In many cases it is not a big deal since the kids may already live close to their dads and see them on a regular basis.  In other cases however, it is not a smooth transition for either the kids or the parents or the significant others involved.

The easy way out of just making sure you have the latest TV gaming system hooked up with a good supply of different games is not the answer although I have to say I made sure my gaming library was up to date before the arrival of my son this summer.  

Allowing your kids to just sit in front of a TV and do whatever it is they may or may not do at home is not a good way to reinvigorate your relationship with them.

Even if you have a busy work schedule that will limit your time with your children during the week, try to make sure you have things planned to do when you are free. 

They do not have to be so called “big ticket” events like baseball games, concerts, or fancy trips.  The planned time can be as simple as a trip to a local park, a lesson involving something you know that they could learn, or a drive to a scenic location and a chat along the way.

I know that talking to kids sometimes can be like Chinese water torture, especially when it involves things you have no interest in.  

But really, the point is to get to know what their interests are and for you to become more aware of who they are. You also can show them that you can listen to them and have an interest in what they are about. 

I have recommended that fathers should just do the best they can and not to worry about those impressions created by other people because eventually kids will make judgments for themselves as to what is the truth and what is the lie.

Hopefully the truth for them will be that their dad is a man who is doing his part to not only take care of them financially but love them as well.

The summer in the city is the first long-term chance for us to enjoy the outdoors since the tragic events of September 11th. 

While we should have our eyes wide open with respect to the comings and goings of people around us, we should still enjoy our lives.  

My family enjoyed the 4th of July fireworks and planned to take in a few baseball games.   I’ll take my son to the Statue of Liberty and to Ground Zero. 

I mentioned earlier that with the summer parental arrangements come the introduction to the significant others. 

It can always be the trickiest part of the getting along process. 

I think all sides can get out of it with minimal damage if there is an understanding that step-moms and step-dads or girlfriends and boyfriends are not stand-in disciplinarians whose job it is to make up for all the so-called bad parenting of the custodial parent.   That path will only lead to disaster. 

At the other end of the spectrum is the idea that significant others will yield to everything the kids say or do, essentially allowing themselves to become doormats.

In the middle is an understanding that the kids will be disciplined by the parent and they will respect the adults in the parent’s life. 

Mutual respect, an open mind and a little planning will make for an enjoyable summer vacation. 

It can also be a chance to enhance, or even help rebuild a relationship that suffers because of circumstances.

— Gary Anthony Ramsay is a weekend anchor
and journalist on the all-news
cable station NY1 and along-time resident of Queens.