I have often spoken to you about my love and appreciation for the guidance my mother has provided for me all the years of my life.  I cannot imagine what life would have been like without her, but I had a glimpse of what it might be like for others who are not as fortunate as I.  This peek into an alternate universe took place while I was watching a movie screening of Denzel Washington’s first direction project. 

“Antwon Fisher” is the story of a sailor whose life in on the edge.  That edge was sharpened and honed by a life in foster care.  The terrible childhood of the lead character is remembered as it threatens to ruin his adult life.  While Fisher is black — as are many of the people around him — the movie carefully weaves a story that could illustrate the life of anyone of any race who experienced similar nightmarish events.

I will not tell you anymore about the movie that might ruin the experience for you, only to say that it was superbly written.  The newcomer — Derek Luke — who plays the lead is remarkable in his film debut and Denzel’s directorial debut should earn yet another Oscar nomination in my opinion (if this film is marketed correctly and enthusiastically by Fox Searchlight).

There are many of us in this community who are caregivers for children who are unwanted, abused or neglected by their natural parents.  While foster care can often be a thankless undertaking, it should not be taken lightly by those who either choose to take these children into their homes or by people who know foster parents and their custodial children.

The abuse of children mentally, physically, sexually, emotionally or any “ally” is unacceptable. 

Those who have chosen to be temporary guardians for children should, at times, be held to a higher standard because they know coming in that the stakes are higher for these kids. 

These children did not get to choose their real parents or their life that subsequently evolved.  Foster parents do get to choose.  They have the option of deciding if they want the hard course of attempting to turn a child’s perception of life and of adults around.

I have often heard that some foster parents feel unappreciated by the kids who live under their roofs.  There is a notion that the children should take more of an initiative in improving the atmosphere of their temporary homes.  While there needs to be a measure of discipline and structure for these children who may not have ever had that in their lives before, there also needs to be an understanding of not only where these children came from but also where they are headed.

The world would have never heard of the Titanic if the giant ship was diverted from its disastrous course by only a few degrees, a few minutes sooner. 

How many personal human tragedies could have been avoided by just a little push in the right direction?  How many lives may have been saved by a few kind acts over time?

There are many foster mothers and fathers doing that kind of nudging right now, but clearly there are not enough. So many children in this city could use the guidance that many other children take for granted. Taking a healthy childhood for granted is as old as parenthood itself and more children should have the opportunity to do so.  Isn’t that part of being a kid? 

I think all of us who are now adults who had a healthy childhood look back and think about what we didn’t appreciate then that we cherish now.

We are all in essence, guardians for all of our children.  It does take a village to raise a child and those who step up to become the guardians of individuals who are on the fringe of that village shoulder an even heavier responsibility.

When Antwon Fisher debuts the week of Decn 20th, as many of us are counting our blessings, I ask that you take as many people as you can to see this wonderful work of art.

I believe you will think, laugh, cry, and then call your mother if you can . . . I did.

— Gary Anthony Ramsay is a weekend anchor
and journalist on the all-news
cable station NY1 and along-time resident of Queens.